Tuesday 14 June 2011

The Sexy Football Ultimatum

By: chris | June 14th, 2011

382977This morning, Terek Grozny, the Chechnyan football club attempting to make waves in the football world, released one of the best official website statements in recent memory, torpedoing their coach in no uncertain terms, declaring if he does not win this afternoon’s game, he’ll find unemployment.

And because that coach is Ruud Gullit, it makes it all the better.

Apparently Ruud has been more interested in the sexy, less interested in the football.

Also: he’s incompetent.

The whole thing is just excellent.


“Today, we must acknowledge that Gullit has not satisifed the expectations of the club’s board,” a statement said.

“Gullit’s actions at the helm of the team during this half year shows that he has no basic understanding of his players or his line-up.

“Gullit has to know he has not been invited to spend his time at nightclubs, but rather to work at the football club and, moreover, get a result. Yes, we do not have drug abuse or indecent nightlife institutions, which are aplenty in Holland and Europe…But in Grozny there are all the conditions for people with a healthy lifestyle.”

“For today, head of the republic Ramzan Kadyrov is extremely disappointed with Ruud Gullit’s approach to his duties, as instead of working with his sleeves rolled up, considering the team’s tournament position, he has bars and discos on his mind.

“Considering the above, Ramzan Kadyrov sets the task for Ruud Gullit to get three points from the next away game in Perm. Otherwise, Gullit will be dismissed from the head coach position.”

While excellent, and it undoubtedly means this game will be watched…

If you’re looking to win football matches, just don’t hire Ruud Gullit, yeah?




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