So, as you may have heard elsewhere, Wayne Rooney is staying at Man United afterall, after making a dramatic U-Turn (A Roo turn if you like) and deciding that actually he wants to stay at Man United for the next five years. That’s just two days after being “Adamant” he wanted out of the club.
Here’s the kicker – he’s just become United’s highest ever earner, with a contract reportedly in the region of £180,000 a week. It is pretty tough to think anything other than he wanted to stay all along he just wanted a megabucks deal, and if Man United said no, he could have gone off to City with no real big loss. Its strikingly similar to the Will John Terry Join Man City saga of a couple of seasons ago, but at least Terry drew the process out to make it halfway convincing.
The striking thing is that Sir Alex went along with the whole thing. There’s no way that if he thought he was being taken for a ride he wouldn’t just say so, but then maybe he thinks he can use the affair to get money for new players from the Glazers.
Anyway, for any footballers out there, who haven’t figured it out, here is a step by step guide to using Manchester City in order to get yourself an absurdly big paycheck.
Step 1) You need to be quite good at football. You need to be valuable to a club for any of it to work, so if you’re not, then well, sorry. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t in form (cf Rooney) but you need to have value to the club you are effectively holding to ransom.
Step 2) Let your contract get quite near the end of its run Within 2 years ideally, so that your transfer value is lower and the club know they’ll need to sell you promptly. It’ll also make you look more serious when you threaten to quit. Otherwise you’ll end up like Cesc Fabregas and be tied to your club whatever noises other clubs are making.
Step 3) Come across as a money hungry swine This is easy if you’ve achieved Step One, especially if you’re English, where the base assumption is that you’re in it for the money anyway. In fact, if you’re reading this, you probably fit the profile.
Step 4) Point out how ambitious Man City Are You can’t make it directly about the money, you have to make it about noble things like ambition. Man City are pushing on to win trophies, and buying World Class players, coo. At this point, your parent cluib will be terrified that Man City will be in for you. And offer you a big contract.
Step 5) Declare your love for your parent club and sign your ridiculous contract you mercenary.
Its tough not to feel had by Rooney, but yet again, clubs ought to call their bluff every now and then, and players could stop playing this game. The presence of Man City means that they’d have somewhere to go if it all fell through anyway, and Man United really could do with Rooney, but blimey, players are just going to be able to demand anything if no club takes a stand.
Category: Manchester United
Tags: Big Contract, Greed is good, John Terry, Man City, Man United, Manchester United, Monopoly Man, Wayne Rooney« Does Wayne Rooney Have a Point About Man United? | Home | Subscribe
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Comments | Add your comment vN | October 22nd, 2010 at 9:43 am 
I’ve never seen this before. A couple of days later, not just a “maybe I’ll reconsider”, but a straight-out signing of a contract.
Rob, footballers aren’t clever enough for this (especially not Rooney). It’s more of a “Make Millions by becoming a football agent” step-by-step guide.
Come on Monsieur Football-for-the-football-lovers: regulate the agents and give something back to the fans for a change.
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