Wayne Rooney’s inability to score in anything other than a Manchester casino with £1,200 in his back pocket once again left England frustrated last night, as a five year-old nation that can call on a population smaller than the city of Leeds for its talent battened down the hatches at Wembley.
With Jermain Defoe taking the much more preferable option to have ankle ligament damage, Fabio Capello opted to use a 7ft broom handle to partner Rooney up front. Granted however, in England’s last 14 games, said broom handle has managed to score five goals compared with Rooney’s one.
When it was clear that such an approach was going to be ineffective against a side ranked below Gabon, Burkina Faso and even the Republic of Ireland, Capello chanced his arm and threw on Kevin Davies for his first England cap, just reward for the 33-year-old’s ability latch onto 56 hoofs up field from the Bolton left back in 254 Premier League games since 2003.
In truth, the only thing resembling any sort of excitement from last night amounted to little more a credible England penalty claim, Montenegro hitting the bar and the East Stand food kiosk needing an emergency change order after the till ran out of 10p coins.
It was all too much for the Club Wembley suits, who found the spread in the VIP lounge far more entertaining whilst the fans in steerage voiced their discontent. Even Adrian Chiles’ dulcet West Midland’s tones seemed downbeat at the full-time whistle.
Those viewers with the full glory of Sky Sports could at least console themselves with the knowledge that there was something far more entertaining going on in Glasgow.
Scotland the Brave battled back from 2-0 down against Spain, champions of ticky-tacky football, to level the match with 25 minutes remaining at Hampden.
However, with Scotland mastering the art of perennial disappointment even more so than England, their brave, committed performance ended like so many of their other brave, committed performances – with a winner for the opposition 10 minutes from time.
Have the wheels fallen off the England bandwagon? Of course they haven’t. There will be plenty of opportunity for England to prove that 2012 will “definitely be their year” in a month’s time when they face a France team that have most of their side sat on the naughty step.
