Fans will once again trudge up Wembley Way tonight for another night of confirmation that England can see off the minnows of world football with only minor deficiencies in their back four.
After victories against Bulgaria and Switzerland, England now face up to Group G leaders Montenegro, a side ranked a positively dizzying 40th in the FIFA rankings.
The Montenegrin’s clearly aren’t one to take lightly then and their 1-0 wins over Wales, Bulgaria and most recently, Switzerland, suggests that an on-form strike force will be needed if England are to overcome what is clearly a well organised defence. Unfortunately, no such strike force exists at present so Fabio Capello will have to make do with Wayne Rooney, Kevin Davies and a cameo substitute appearance from Adam Johnson.
The danger man for Montenegro is Roma forward Mirko Vucinic, who has 87 Serie A goals to his name and 21 Montenegro caps, returning eleven goals. He’s score two of his country’s three Euro 2012 qualifying goals so far, so he clearly isn’t to be messed with. Any players of note beyond Vucinic had clearly evaded the eyes of our researcher.
It’s perhaps because of that particular threat that World Cup crock Rio Ferdinand will once again pick up the keys to the Wembley captain’s lounge for tonight’s match. He will take his place in defence instead of Phil Jagielka, who has a hamstring problem, and John Terry, who will instead spend the evening enjoying back spasms, the nauseating ITV duo of Adrian Chiles and Clive Tyldesley and a Hyundai advert during the game’s only key point.
Of course, Rio has done his level best to look remotely interested ahead of kick-off, suggesting that England will have to be slightly better than they were in that match against Germany to beat a team who are almost as good as Burkina Faso.
“It will be a hard game and we’ve got to make sure we bring our ‘A’ game because they’ve started very well in the group,” he claimed, before thinking of an amusing prank for his next World Cup Wind-ups show.
Meanwhile, Fabio Capello has dismissed suggestions that Steven Gerrard will be upset at not being allowed to wear the captain’s armband or to choose the CD on the team bus, claiming: “I decided when I started as England manager who will be the captain and the vice-captain.
“When I spoke with Steven I told him, ‘you were a fantastic captain and you have to play like a captain on Tuesday’.”
If you’re looking for form ahead of tonight’s game, you’re out of luck. Montenegro has only existed as an independent team since 2006. The best we can offer you is a 2003 meeting between England and Serbia & Montenegro in Leicester. Joe Cole saved England’s blushes that day with an 82nd minute strike in a 2-1 friendly win.
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