The New Kids Are Coming

"> Jan 7th, 2011 @ 03:20 pm › Ivor
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With all the conjecture this week in the newspapers and on the blogs about the Gaffer finally cleaning house and bringing up a new generation of homegrown players, I thought I’d discuss it with somebody who definitely knows more than me and is much better connected to what’s actually going on behind the scenes at Old Trafford than most of the so-called ‘experts’.

Derek has been a good mate of mine since we met as triallists for Stockport County more years ago than I care to remember. A very wealthy man, owing to his success as an agent in the adult entertainment business in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Dubai and London, Dez spends any free time he can make watching United at Old Trafford and on the road. More interestingly, he goes to as many reserve and academy games as he can and has proven to be a reliable source and resource for me and a number of other journos over the years. Dez has a good relationship with Paul McGuinness ever since he dragged him to see Danny Welbeck play many years ago.

ME: So do you think Ferguson really will pull the trigger this time and clean house?

DEREK: Definitely. Neville, EVDS, Wes, Owen, Kucszak, Giggsy, Gibson and maybe Ginger and Rio. All gone.

ME: Rio? Really?

DEREK: Big paycheck. Injury prone. Bad back. Maybe one more season, but he makes a lot of dosh and he (Ferguson)might just choose to do it like, you know, Michael Corleone, and cull the squad in one fell swoop. Chris Smalling has surprised everybody, actually, and he’s much more intelligent than Jonny Evans.

ME: And Ginger, too? I’m gonna miss Ginger.

DEREK: Money again, innit? He worked really hard to be ready for this season. I was amazed at how good he looked early on. Absolutely fantastic passing rate. His best ever if you look at the stats. But he’s becoming dead delicate.

ME: I read where he said he might be interested in being player/manager at Oldham Athletic.

DEREK: I don’t think he’s got the right personality or the patience to be a manager, but you never know.

ME: So what about all these kids they’re supposed to bring up like Paul Pogba.

DEREK: Pogba is going to be a f%#c+*$ superstar, man. He passes like Veron and he tackles and moves like Patrick Vieira. Definitely gonna be our next Captain fantastic.

ME: Ravel Morrison? I’ve seen him on videos and…

DEREK: Brilliant. Just brilliant. But very sensitive and… Well, he argues with referees and gets right in their faces. I think it’s going to take him a while to grow up.

ME: Ballotelli-ish, is he?

DEREK: In a racial sense, I suppose, but he’ll have days when he’s out there on the field and invisible and others where you can’t get the ball off him. A lot of private, personal issues he’s got to sort out..

ME: Petrucci?

DEREK: Dead brill. Awesome. I think he’s just had bad luck with injuries.

ME: Welbeck and Macheda.

DEREK: Brucey’s done a great job with Danny. The Gaffer kept putting him on the wing last season and he’s just not comfy on the flanks. He’s an old-fashioned centre-forward and going to be a star, whether it’s with us or not. I’m afraid Macheda is going to be the next Pique. He just needs to play, but there’s no way that he’ll take a number behind Berbatov, Wazza, Owen and Hernandez. I just don’t want the club to sell him for next to nothing like they did with Rossi and Pique. I’m afraid we’ll lose both of them because the Boss adores Berbatov and he’ll be good for at least three more seasons, right? So I reckon they’re both off elsewhere.

ME: King and Eikram. I read all this great stuff about Eikram, but then the Gaffer let Solskjaer take him with him back to Norway.

DEREK: King is big and awkward, but I think he’ll be better than Jack Rodwell if we’re patient with him. Eikram reminds me of that Serbian, Ljajic. He’s got everything–balance, passing, shooting, the ability to beat an opponent–but he’s small and Fergie seems to have less and less faith in small players. he had a great relationship with Cleverly in the reserves. They were great together.

ME: I saw Cleverly in Chicago. He looked awfully good.

DEREK: Him and that Wolves kid, Matty Jarvis, will be the wingers for England. None of those Spurs’ kids know how to cross a ball. I think you’re going tosee Valencia and Cleverly together on the wings and Nani being tried as a straight-ahead striker. Sounds crazy, right?

ME: Keep Evra?

DEREK: Definitely keep Evra. Pay him what he wants. Split his time with Fabio.

ME: Right! Finally, who do you think we should buy?

DEREK: Not Julio Caesar. He’s a fat b#2s&am and very overrated. I like that René Adler or Neuer for goals. The Germans always produce class goalies. And M’Vila for the midfield. He would be awesome next to Pogba. Real Madrid will want a lot of dosh for Kaka, but I would pull the trigger. Him or that Defour kid. If Villa get relegated, I’d be in for Bannan and Clark like lightning. I love that Marouane Fellani better than Rodwell if Everton need the money. I like that Graham Dorrans, too.

ME: Future looks good.

DEREK: Another successful team coming up, I think. Piers Morgan will be doing his nut.

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Tags: Manchester United Del.icio.us Digg Technorati Magnolia Newsvine RedditShaunI hope Derek is right about Pogba. We could definitely use someone with those qualities in our midfield.RayWhat a complete load of rubbish!! Get back to the adult industry, mate, and take
The author of this shite with you!mattchicharito: go ahead and fuck off. ivor...keep it up..always a good readsiggsiggnext monster talend midfielder will be gylfi sigurdsson just check out the goals scored/assists per minute for that kid one of the best for a mf in the best leagues in europe this year and last and hes only 19CHICHARITOthis blog is a bunch of shit even foe me as aunited fan , this derek dude seems like a plastic fan with the money and time to mwatch as many games as possible.but judging on your views i would say your completely and utterly stupid you exaggerate way to mouch about the clearence of the squad thank god your not manager or we would be down in the doll drums due to your stupidityblog comments powered by DisqusMobile Theme

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