The Soccer Blog: A Roy Hodgson Caption Contest: The Winners

Saturday, 20 November 2010

A Roy Hodgson Caption Contest: The Winners

By: Ed | November 18th, 2010
hodgsonsmile

“Bastards think you’re clever, do you? Wait until you see my midfield Saturday.”

This essentially started as an opportunity for me to take drunken potshots at Roy Hodgson, and I solicited your involvement because I still want to pretend that I care what you think. Also I wanted to bask in how much more clever I am than the rest of you.

So of course people take to it and outdo me, and now I have to follow through with judging and typing and drinking. Again. You’re all far too clever to continue coming back.

But really well done to all involved—kept it fairly clean, lighthearted, and not too offensive. Some might object and say that this is directing too much vitriol at Roy Hodgson, that this is just silly, that it’s one big cheap shot at a well-intentioned man. To that I say, “I don’t care.” We’ve done the analysis to dust, and will continue to do so, and I think there’s plenty of room for having a bit of fun, even in the midst of some troubles. Also, your fly’s down. Maybe not, but I’d guess a good percentage of you looked.

Enough chatter—the esteemed victors, and because I can’t commit to snubbing anyone, I’ve given three to each. Tried to include all, so think of this post as your post-match juice box. But not Capri Sun, because who the fuck knows how to get that straw in there?

Number One:

Nic: “Hey Tony over here any chance of a chat about your tactics today?”

Rosco: “Hey Roy! How many teams of this calibre have you actually managed?” “JUST ONE! OKAY!!”

Joejag: Roy reassure Stoke fans about which direction in the league their team will be heading.

Number Two:

Redtrev73: “‘This wind bweaker will insulate you against the dwaught woy,’ that little chap said. ‘I’ve filled your pockets with toffees,’ he said. Bollox to that…i’m fweezing here…and who are all this lot?….I’m fwightened…..”

Red Down Unda: “My God, if I had a dog that looked like that Tony, I’d shave it’s arse and make it walk backwards.”

Grubb: “That Comolli fella is wwiting in his notepad again. Awwogant Fwench pwick. What have the Fwench won anyway?”

Number Three:

Yaniv: “I know what we need… a little speed.”(then proceeds to snort the drug-speed)**This is particularly fantastic if you give it the CSI: Miami David Caruso treatment.**

Noel: “My nose! That imp Pulis just stole my nose! Somebody, help… oh thank fuck, it’s still there.”

Joel: “Tee hee hee, Sammy fawted! *I’m so clever with my awmpit fawt sounds*”

Number Four:

steven: “Your chants for Dalgish are *sniff* unproductive *sniff*”

Jordan: “And into this tissue goes all the hopes and dreams of Liverpool fans worldwide…”

Rosco: “Okay go ahead sir Alex they can’t lip read now, what’s that? Poulsen? Yep he’s on, I keep telling them to play it back, yep okay, love you too.”

Number Five:

Counsellor: “Thanks for the dance, but you really should keep your hands out of your pockets when you’re jiving.” “Are you sure, I have been jiving this way quite successfully for 35 years.”

Redporridge: “Just a lost, I won’t get sack. Congrats Stoke! Well done!”

JohnSpies: “Now, who are you again? A manager of a football club? Whooo-wee, that is a big job! Takes a big man to do that job! Me? No, for heaven sakes man, don’t be silly. I haven’t got the balls to do what you do!”

Special mention also goes to Big Red Mike for pinpointing our hopes with, “This man will be sacked tomorrow.”

Also to Charlie, who took it upon himself to Futurama-ize the current happenings. In his words:

I’ve made a caption of my own – behind the scenes after the Stoke game – starring:
*John W Henry as Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
*Slightly aged Ryan Babel as Hermes Conrad
*And Roy Hodgson as Dr. Zoidberg

Ryan Babel is the first to question mr. Henry of their future as a club with Roy in charge:

Good work, all.

Some Related Liverpool Posts:A Roy Hodgson Caption ContestThe Art of Silencing Roy HodgsonHodgson Presser and Friday Wrap-UpLiverpool Announce Roy Hodgson as ManagerSpain Through, Jovanović Signs, and Hodgson on Gerrard and Torres

Category: Team News

Tags: Lowbrow Humor, No I'm Not Above That Why Do You Ask, Roy Hodgson, Team News
« Brazilian Fullbacks: A Friendly Reminder | Home | Friday Whatsit and Poll Wrap-Up »CharlieBut his facial features - he really looked like Roy. Twin brother we never heard of?CharlieRight guys, swear to God. I've just seen an elderly man, Roy's lookalike. I'm standing at the traffic lights, and there's this man in front of me, the street is packed with people, but strangely, no cars. So the people start crossing the street, despite it being red light. Thought - I might as well, but this man in front won't move. Standing there, indecisive, shaking his head. As soon as I saw that - thought of Roy. Suddenly, there's a little queue behind me, people to my left and right moving along, but this guy won't move. And then - 'snap', green light. He stood there for a second or two, and went on. And that's that. Nothing special, but very Roy-like. I wonder if he was waiting for gween. Ch.GrubbWell I think the winners are this from Rosco:
“Okay go ahead sir Alex they can’t lip read now, what’s that? Poulsen? Yep he’s on, I keep telling them to play it back, yep okay, love you too.” - Just brilliant. Was he sober? Doubt it.

And the original from Ed about playing the ball higher, that made me laugh for ages!

But well done all, good work.MikeHermes Conrad kinda looks like Frank Rijkaard. I think I saw his face on my tortilla the other day. I'm just sayin.NoelOne time in my youth, while partaking in a bout of physical exertion, a vendor offering free samples of Sunny Delight came along and, as befitted his job, he offered everybody tiny bottle of Sunny Delight with which to quench our thirst. Having just partaken in the aforementioned bout of physical activity, the Sunny Delight proceeded to turn the ever-accumulating saliva in my mouth into a kind of semi-solid gelatinous mass while further sucking my gums dry to further add to the expanding choking hazard.

Oh, and I demand you declare a winner. I demand it! ...and I see two offerings from Rosco up there. Are you trying to tell us something without committing to it?

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