The Soccer Blog: Breaking Transfer News: Chelsea Offside to Write Another Story About Fernando Torres

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Breaking Transfer News: Chelsea Offside to Write Another Story About Fernando Torres

By: Noel | January 28th, 2011
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The Liverpool Offside has it on good authority that The Chelsea Offside will soon release another story concerning the possibility that the club they follow might make a serious effort to capture Torres with all of three days left in the transfer window. Meanwhile, Twitter’s going insane over a new Times article that’s behind a paywall so that almost nobody has seen it. In this supposedly new and breaking article, the bit that’s got everybody upset is the suggestion that Torres has requested a move to Chelsea.

Of course, this isn’t actually a new rumour. It was rumoured last night that Torres had asked the club to work on the deal, and all the Times article does is complie every scrap that’s been batted around the echo chamber that is the internet ever since.

So now an article most haven’t read that rehashes old rumours and speculations largely rumoured and speculated about on Twitter and Liverpool forums, and without a single quote, has lead to an explosion on Twitter and in various Liverpool forums speculating about this latest round of rumours. Even though there’s nothing new in the article. Even though the club just got a deal for Suarez accepted while nobody supposedly in the know actually had a clue quite what was going on until the club’s official website broke the story, which must be a first in the history of the internet.

Maybe Torres will wind up at Chelsea tomorrow. I could also win the lotto tonight and then get fried in a freak winter lightning storm. Anything’s possible. Still, I don’t buy that after the shit he’s put up with over the past few years at the club, Torres is going to request a transfer with three days left in the window on the exact same day the club’s new owners signal that they’ll actually try to deliver on the promises he’s been waiting around for by breaking the club transfer record he set and bringing it the biggest name of the window to support him. Could it end up being true? I suppose so, yes. Does it seem at all reasonable or rational or likely? No.

Anything’s possible, but this smells like a rehashing of day-old rumours that knock Liverpool down a notch just when everybody was celebrating the arrival of Luis Suarez. This was a cycle of rumours that seemed to have been put to bed, and unless I hear otherwise from club sources or Torres himself, I’m going to assume this is the silly season bullshit it appears to be, especially seeing as it “broke” after eight PM in England on a bloody Friday night. Though by the look of the way Twatters are gnashing their teeth, with people I had previously considered sane acting like a bunch of five year olds on crystal meth (or, you know, cocaine), while the denizens of Liverpool forums are preparing a pitchfork wielding mob and have already disavowed Fernando Torres as a fellow member of the human race…

Well, my main reaction is that I just want to tell the whole lot of you–no, not you, the other you; that’s right, the one who’s being a fucking moron–to just fuck right off. Chances are nothing’s going to happen, and if it somehow does turn out to be more than last minute January transfer bullshit, well, alternately giving yourself a heart attack and cursing that Fernando Torres was ever born isn’t going to do anybody a bit of good. And it’ll mostly make you look like a reactionary jackass when, as is most likely, he’s still playing for Liverpool this time next month and this turns out to have indeed been nothing but bullshit.

Some Related Liverpool Posts:Squad Announced; Fernando Torres Has Been Paying AttentionLiverpool 2, Chelsea 0: Dissecting Torres’ SecondJamie Redknapp, Five-Syllable Words, and Fernando TorresMonday Transfer Inaction, and Apparently There Was a Female LinesmanTransfer Pollin’: Liverpool’s #1 Must Have

Category: Miscellaneous, Premier League, Team News

Tags: All Your Liver Are Belong To Us, Derp, Fernando Torres, Loud Noises, Luis Suarez, Miscellaneous, Premier League, Sometimes I Fucking Hate You, Team News, Transfer Rumors, Transfers
Tweet « Luis Suarez Joins LFC | Home | Fernando Torres Transfer Request Rejected »brob4 torres joined us he was a good player that only several clubs had i eye on and only us as a big team. his goal record was not amazing and he captained a team of a place were the fans loved him coz he was born and bred der not coz he was there best player. liverpool fans doubted him and forlan at the time was on are list aswell as him. he was not playing in champions leauge at the time and was not first choice for spain. but rafa gambeled witch for that price for his record 0f goal ratio at athlitic was a gambel. he now has played in a champions league final and has won a world cup and european cup with spain. he torres was a player that was kind of unkown and he joined liverpool we we help him become world class. i dont blame him if he wants to spred his wings further now and move on but he got to remenber who got him flying! so by al means go but respect us and remenber that we got u to were u r to be able to play champions league so respect that and wieght til the end of the season for maybe the likes of barca, inter, to bid but not chelse and play ur first game against who made u.EdYeah, now that I'm not driving and am finally reading it on something other than my phone, I guess I'm wondering, you know, what's the fucking problem?LFCA TRANSFER REQUEST EH FERNANDO, STICK HIM IN THE RESERVES KENNY LET HIM ROT THE DIRTY LITTLE B A S T A R DRed2deathIf Torres goes, it won't be to another English club.

That's just how he is - one club per country. Atletico in Spain, Liverpool in England, if there's a future destination I'd put my money on one of the Milans.liverpoolfootballblogNoooooooooooooo don't leave Torresarn00bWell, it is a big story, perhaps the biggest transfer story of the window, if not the season.

Two, one post is titled "Torres again? Seriously" and the other is a poll.

The Torres story is more than just about 'nando, but about everything that's going on at Chelsea in the last year, from the cost-cutting, season-suicide garage sale of last Summer and its reversal, to the "give youth a chance," and "self-sufficiency" program, and it's abandonment, and everything else.JwillsIt all sounds like a skysports 'cover the gray n keys gate scandal up' to me lol
JackI have it on good authority that you're a fucking prick. Honestly, who calls out a fellow blog working under the same network?RoscoDo i sense trouble in the "buying championship" ranks? Fuck, we can't buy him, let's buy him, no wait, how about him?

That's right abramovich is losing interest, fuck it. CSKA could win the champs league if throw enough rupels at them. Chelsea? Who's that?

Back to mediocrity for us lads, where's Dennis wise?NoelUm, yeah, that first line is a joke because for a 12 hour stretch your blog had more talk relevant to the average Liverpool-obsessed reader than ours did. From line two onward it's about Twitter and Liverpool forum users looking to preemptively draw and quarter Fernando Torres on the basis of largely re-hashed rumours.

If I didn't make the division of cheeky intro from slightly tongue-in-cheek annoyed body clear, or if you thought that an introduction that did invoke the Chelsea Offside's brief obsession with Fernando Torres as a way to try and gently poke at the general insanity of the transfer market while providing an amusing gateway--given the whole same network thing--to the actual topic I was discussing was beyond the pale, I suppose I should apologise.

Reading over what I did write a few more times, though, I feel as though I'm replying to one of the occasional people who calls me an idiot after reading the title and nothing more. Coming from a fellow blogger under the same network, that appearance is causing me no small struggle in avoiding my own bit of name calling, though I'll have to assume it is appearance and nothing more.NoelI am Jack's Twitter: "Gotta love riling up the scum, though. Pure comedy."

And I'm the dick for making a quick joke about him running two Torres posts in a row before getting into a post where I call out some of Liverpool's own fans and don't say a bad word about him or his blog? Seriously? The mind, it fucking boggles.Justin BonebrakeHey, hey you, hey there. Sometimes the Chelskis need to get knocked down a notch too. I'm personally fed up with this Southern England Media agenda to see Liverpool down in flames. It's like watching a load of mindless vultures swirling around in a pile of rotting shit hoping to find the last bits of tasty buffalo testicle.

If American football has one thing goes for it, it's the lack of a relegation system. Storied clubs can't go down in flames while the rest of the world stands around all glossy eyed self-fornicating.

So, go ahead and keep dreaming about Torres. In the mean time I'm going to keep counting down the days until Chelski buys Aguero so Liverpool can make an audacious bid for him every transfer window, oh wait, we're not big enough chach-bags for that one.

Abromovic couldn't have expected such a deal to go through. If anything happened at all, it was just to appease the nerves of you London-loving twats who are shitting yourselves over money-bags-Man-City buying their first championship.

The greatest thing about being on the bottom of the heap is that there is only one way to go...arn00bIs this about the Bruce Buck comments? Let it go, man. No one wants to see Liverpool in flames except Gary Neville and a few other dirtbags everyone hates.

We'd rather the 'Pool win stuff than United. And seeing last season's "season decider" between the you guys and us, the feeling is mutual.

We wish our former players there all the best and hope that you guys pick yourselves up to beat the Mancs this season so that they don't get their 19th and that anyone else could win the league.

No one is dreaming about Torres at Chelsea. We don't want him here. He's Tevez light. Loyalty and love and now it's transfer request. If he were to go to Chelsea, he'd say the same, then complain about the rain, taxes, instability, homesickness, etc, and request a transfer back to Spain. Reina's loyalty is also shaky. Fabregas too, even if he doesn't complain all the time.

Your beloved Torres tried to jump ship 3 days before the transfer window closes, knowing that Babel is gone and there's no time to find a replacement. You can call this loyalty, but we don't want this kind of loyalty down at Chelsea.

Thanks, but no thanks.SamSeriously, chill out. He's pretty obviously not talking to you.alcatrazzledazzleI think he's calling out the insane Liverpool Twitterers at the end there, not you.SignalflashEd had me laughing this morning before work, and now I can get back on the train home laughing still. I love the picture. They did this with Torres all summer long. He hasn't looked this happy on the field in months and I know he has a lot of respect for Kenny, and what the heck, we have a Chelsea coach now too so why go there now? FSG is doing fine and if Suarez works out that will only help Torres feel better still.sarahAll the hype and rumors surrounding this are, despite my better judgment, winding me up to the point where I'm taking a break from all the sites/Twitter for the next day or so. As far as I can tell, nobody actually KNOWS anything other than the fact that a) Suarez has come to LFC, and b) Chelsea had a failed bid for Torres.

I will say that the fact that NOBODY knew about the Suarez deal until LFC broke it makes me feel more confident that at this point, nobody knows what they're talking about.JoelCompletely agree with you, Noel, Torres requesting a transfer now just makes no sense at all. Timing seems really odd. My best guess is that Torres may have been maneuvering to force through the Suarez deal and this news got reported a day late. I can understand if Torres wants to leave, but these rumors go against everything else we've heard and seen from him since his days at Atletico. These articles really seem like shit stirring.

If it is true, and I were Kenny, I'd sit down with Nando and explain to him that he might be able to go somewhere else and win a trophy or two before he retires, but if he stays at Liverpool, he'll be a legend once we bag the Premier League and Champions League in the next few years. If he still wants to leave, then tell him to sack up for the rest of the season and earn his move in the summer. While the old owners might not deserve any respect, the club and the fans deserve at least the amount we've given to him.Joshua VegaBrilliantTom FooleryIsn't it, though. I personally love when Noel pisses a bunch of Londoners off, it always demonstrates an obvious lack of looking past titles and the focus on hype/reactionism. The transfer window clearly gets people going. We all just need to take a break, unwind, log off fucking Twitter, and see what's unfolded by the 1st. Its clear no one knows what's going on, so accept it...or fuck right off back to the Media Watch and crap your pants everytime The Daily Mail reports something stupid.blog comments powered by Disqus